I Chill You / Ik Kil Je

I found the poem below as I was going through old journal entries. While I only started writing for personal reasons more frequently a few months later, I like the idea that Inspiration had already announced itself.

I wrote this poem initially in Dutch, then translated it to English to be able to share it with more people. You can find the English version here first, followed by the one in Dutch.

I chill you for what you said.
I chill you for what you did.
I chill you for the things you never did admit.

I cold you for your silence,
in regards to all the beauty that I was,
and freeze you for how – or so I thought – you kept looking at my flaws.

But you thaw anyway,
through the memory of a kiss, a smile, a dance.
And so I watch you disappear clumsily,
looking for another chance.

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Ik kil je voor je woord.
Ik kil je voor je daad.
Ik kil je voor hoe makkelijk je aan dingen voorbijgaat.

Ik koud je voor je stilte,
rond al het mooie dat ik was,
en bevries je voor het lelijke dat je – of toch dat dacht ik – in me las.

Maar ontdooien doe je toch,
verwarrend door die kus, die lach, die dans.
En zo zie ik je stuntelend verdwijnen,
op zoek naar een nieuwe kans.

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