On Giving Meaning to the Actions of Others
We are self-centered storytellers trying to be truth-seekers.
It’s our way of giving meaning to things.
Someone having a bad day happens to look at us a certain way,
and we tell ourselves a story about it.
Someone needing affection comes to us for a hug, looking for connection,
so we tell ourselves a story about it.
Someone has a lot going on, not interacting with us for a little too long,
and we tell ourselves a story about it.
We want to know where we’re at,
but rarely do we ask:
“Hey, what did you mean by that?”
Instead, we rather bask,
in the discomfort of our uncertainty,
not wanting our insecurities to be seen.
We don’t want to risk breaking something,
shaking something,
at least not when that something feels fragile still.
And we know that our stories say more about our fears and desires,
than about what others think or feel when an uncomfortable moment transpires.
So we try to make our way along this rope of relations,
trying to keep our balance between feeling confident,
and carefully asking for clarifications.
It’s probably a lot easier if you just don’t care.
If you stop telling stories and only take into account what you can see is truly there.
But I think that would mean missing out on quite a lot,
because the stories we create ask for deepening,
for us to co-write the plot.
They’re the reason we reach out,
and offer the other a hand.
They’re the reason we open up,
and give us a chance to understand.