A Mutual Understanding of Connection

For every person you wish were more excited about you, there is someone wishing you were more excited about them.

Ideally, two people feel the same enthusiasm about a connection and are willing and able to develop that connection into a bond, whether that be a friendship, an acquaintanceship, a business collaboration, a romantic relationship, or even just a “let’s tolerate each other’s existence” level of understanding.

Sometimes, however, there is a mismatch.
One person has the capacity and/or desire to develop the connection while the other doesn’t. Neither is wrong. Neither is bad. Both can experience discomfort while figuring out the extent of this mismatch, from things being simply awkward or a little annoying to unbalancing and painful.

Easiest to navigate when there’s no need to be in each other’s lives,
harder when constantly reminded of the mismatch.

Tact is paramount, and requires a solid presence of emotional awareness. And of kindness, not just toward the other but also toward oneself. Because no matter which side of the connection we find ourselves on, we’re probably, hopefully, all just trying to do our best.

Boundaries can be hard to set with these types of connections, as both parties shuffle their toes along the edges of what feels comfortable.

It’s a trial-and-error investigation balancing one’s needs with one’s emotional safety and peace of mind. Sometimes resulting in a same-day court ruling, sometimes taking years to come to conclusion.

It’s good to remember that no matter how long these sometimes turbulent investigations take, there are always those who are just as excited about us as we are about them. The ones with whom we can comfortably keep the connection at a status quo, or who deepen and strengthen it by walking alongside us, sometimes adopting a faster pace, sometimes letting us take the lead, but always ending up right there next to us again.