Using Public Accountability to (Hopefully) Improve My Life

When I started my Little Things series back in December 2023, I did so on Instagram because I knew that sharing it publicly would keep me accountable. Even if nobody cared whether I missed a day or not, I knew I’d still feel ashamed if I did.

I’m on day 429 of sharing Little Things as I start writing this post and in front of me sits a list of multi-day challenges that could improve my life and strengthen the belief that I can be consistent.

I started compiling this list just a few days ago as I was disappointed with the lack of progress I’m making in building something new alongside the content strategy and writing business I’ve been running for the past 5 years.

How much progress with a new project one “should” expect from oneself when running a business, maintaining a social life, getting enough movement in, dealing with health issues, and recovering from burnout is something I’ll leave aside for now.

The point is: I felt motivated and inspired but frustrated and distracted at the same time.

So I thought: what if I publicly start tracking things I think would be good for me but that I keep half-assing?

What This Is (Not) About

This is not about going big and bold. It’s not about doing something so special that it could go viral/be picked up by media/boost my ego tremendously/cause me more stress than I want to handle. It’s not about doing something others might think is cool.

This is about accountability and testing whether it’s easier for me to give something a real go when I know others are looking on.

It’s about trying things so I don’t go on thinking “What if?”

“Why not get an accountability partner?” you may ask.

I’ve tried that in the past and I’ve noticed that it only works if the other person:

• is someone I really don’t want to disappoint.
• is further along in their journey with the thing I want to work on.
• is doing the thing alongside me or we at least have check-ins multiple times a week.

And because “I want to try it the public way” is enough of a reason.

The Rules

1. Starting the week of March 3, 2025, I’ll challenge myself to do something at a certain frequency, for a pre-determined period. That might mean doing x for 30 consecutive days, or doing y once a week for a certain number of weeks in a row.

2. I’ll publicly track my progress on Instagram stories and Substack Notes.

3. Within two weeks of ending a challenge, I’ll publish an article sharing what it was like and what I’ve learned, if anything.

You’ll be able to find those updates here on the site, but if you want instant updates, make sure to sign up to my Substack publication.

4. Once a challenge is over, I’ll also decide whether I want to keep doing the thing and what that will look like.

5. Within one week after publishing the article about the last challenge, I’ll choose the next challenge, and when I’ll start it.

6. I might tackle more than one challenge at a time if my chosen challenge doesn’t require daily action.

7. Some challenges may require preparation (deciding on a location, buying something, …). Time spent on preparation does not count toward challenge days.

8. I’ll choose my next challenge based on the following criteria:

• how much of an impact I think it will have.
• how excited it makes me.
• how much sense it makes given my other commitments within the same time frame.

If you want to do something similar, here’s a quick Google Sheet I put together to score the different challenges I have in mind. To use it:

• click “File”.
• click “Make a copy”.
• save the copy to your own Google Drive.

9. I’m only allowed to stop or pause a challenge if

• it negatively impacts my health. That includes my mental health.
• I’m forced by circumstances (for example, illness).

10. I’ll link to any challenges I’ve completed and written about below.

11. I’ll update this post with each new challenge I start.

Some Thoughts

This could be super impactful, an absolute dread, or something in between. Either way, it’s scary. And that’s ok. I’m not only expecting but also counting on it that the feelings of regret and shame that would follow quitting are harder to deal with than the challenges I currently have on my list, and that’s the point of this.

Current Challenges

Little Things

To start on a good note, I’m including my Little Things series here. As it stands now, I don’t plan on stopping that any time soon.

50 Eyes and Smiles

I started 50 Eyes and Smiles in January 2025 and it’s different from the other challenges I’ll be doing as I don’t have much control over when I can take action.

With Eyes and Smiles, I challenge myself to make eye contact with people I pass in public (on the street, at cafes, etc.) and smile at them (in a non-creepy way). While I’ve decided to include everyone, the goal of the challenge is to get to 50 Eyes and Smiles with men I find attractive.

The rules:

• There needs to be clear eye contact. It doesn’t count if the other person looks away as soon as I lock eyes with them.
• It only counts if I also smile after having locked eyes with them. Simply establishing eye contact isn’t enough.
• It doesn’t matter if the other person smiles back or not. I’m doing this to practice being the person I want to be, not to get something from someone else.

8 Weeks of Pre-Defined Weekly Cafe Work Time

Going to work at a cafe might not seem like a challenge to some, but it is to me. I have a highly ergonomic setup at home and a resistance toward working at a table that’s not optimal for my neck and back posture.

I also long had these (probably) false beliefs that I wouldn’t be able to focus at a cafe, that I wouldn’t be as efficient without my big monitor, that I’d lose too much time getting ready to go to the cafe, walking there, etc.

As you can see: plenty of excuses.

The rules:

• I need to go work at a cafe once a week, for at least an hour. That means being at my laptop for an hour. The time I need to get settled and order doesn’t count.
• I need to decide beforehand what I’ll be working on during that time and the work needs to either consist of writing or of researching things I plan to write about.
• On the off chance that I go work at a cafe more than once in the same week, I still need to keep the challenge up for 8 weeks. The goal is not to get it over with but to test whether this could be a good habit for me.

Why I think doing this will have a positive impact on me:

I hope this challenge will allow me to prove to myself that I can get good writing done from somewhere other than my living room, an Airbnb, or a quiet hotel room and that, as a consequence, I’ll want to go work at different places more often.

Why that would be good, you may ask? Because:

• I often get antsy in the afternoons working from home and I feel like going to work elsewhere might fix that.
• it would give me an opportunity to throw more Eyes and Smiles and, who knows, maybe even get to know new people.
• it’ll make it easier to get my daily steps in.
• it’ll expose me to more prime daylight (If you were thinking I’d go early in the morning, you were mistaken).

And as you may have noticed, this challenge has another challenge built in: to spend at least one hour a week writing or researching. Doing this isn’t particularly hard for me but I haven’t been consistent in writing for my personal project (versus for clients) and I’m hoping that this challenge will help with that.

Struggles I foresee:

• Feeling like I need to prioritize other things over this.
• Not taking the time to properly prepare what I’ll work on beforehand because of the above.
• Not wanting to go out in case it rains.

What should I know?

I initially thought the article following this challenge would be purely experience-based until my friend Mike mentioned the book The Extended Mind by Annie Murphy Paul. The book is about how our minds are affected by external forces – other people, the physical spaces we operate in – as well as our relationships and bodies.

So, I’ll be reading that. Perhaps you know of another resource that talks about the influence of physical space on brain work? A person or – even better – a scientific study? The practice of feng shui comes to mind and I’m sure there’s more out there.

Hah! I might need to dedicate my first Cafe Session to finding out.

I’m excited, and I hope you’ll follow along.

Past Challenges

Coming soon!