Stuck

Stuck between a want, a should, a won’t.
Between a “let’s go”, “have to”, and “please, don’t”.

Not fully burned out, but also not consistently glowing.
Largely functional, the still many internal glitches rarely showing.

Every day so different, yet the work remains the same.
Rebuilding capacity, yet unable to re-enter the game.

Two-and-a-half years.
Who would have thought?
And there’s still quite a bit of battle
that remains to be fought.

If only I would rest,
allow myself to be,
pause all imagined responsibilities,
focus on fully getting back to me.

I think I will pause,
allow myself a break.
There’s really no other option,
there’s simply too much at stake.

So now here I sit,
finishing this verse,
my future uncertain but
things could be worse.